For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
