thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
