Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
