Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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