i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
