No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
