are you still at the devil's house?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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