..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
