you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
