Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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