just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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