The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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