Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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