I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
