So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
