Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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