How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
