guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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