i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Shame - the story of my life.
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