So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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