you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
