Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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