i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
