I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
