After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
