She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
