I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
