I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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