Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
