hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize