How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
