I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
