I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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