The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
