u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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