Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize