Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
40s are totally the cure
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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