and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
