yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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