giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
