I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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