She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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