it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
