Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Randomize
