and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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