I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize