the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
