it's too hot outside to masturbate.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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