Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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