You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
