Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Screwed.edu
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
