The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
