If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
