He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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