David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
