youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
