I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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