RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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