why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
