i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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