Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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