I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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