Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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