Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
