Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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